I was watching Girls yesterday – I have a love/hate relationship with that show but with that said I do watch it religiously- and the episode was called the good-bye tour. This fit so well for where I am personally at right now. Sending my gratitude letters to professors for their guidance and leadership, making my thank you gift bags for the social workers I worked with at the agency, scheduling lunches with friends from the program.. It is the good-bye tour.
I am finally at the finish line ready to cross. This moment has been a light in the distance for so long it is still hard to believe now that I am standing inside of that light finally getting to bask in the glory of accomplishment.
Another part of the good-bye tour is saying good-bye to this writing space. I was undecided for a while about the fate of the brain work blog, having this space ended up being so important over the last 5 years, more so than I could have ever imagined when I began writing. I did not know how to say good-bye, or if I even wanted to. I had pretty much made up my mind that I would just keep writing; but now that I am here I know the answer. I will be saying good-bye.
I will wait until May when I am officially done so I have a space to process all my feelings about graduation and the next life stage I am stepping into; but then I will close up shop and move on to the next thing. I don’t quite know what that will look like yet but yes, I will be writing. I have been writing since the age of 9, it is part of me, I will always be writing.
I know this is the right decision because every fiber of my being is telling me it is time. Time to make room for what comes next, the next big adventure, the next phase of life, the next stage of growth. Whatever is coming I just suddenly know that it does not belong here among the pages of my last five years, it needs it’s own space that it gets to define for itself.
I am both excited and sad. Good-byes are often bitter sweet. Saying good-bye to this blog will be much harder than many of the other good-byes I will be saying on this good-bye tour because this blog has been my true constant companion while on this journey. It has held space for me in a way no one else could.
I am so grateful to my old co-worker from the hospital that first suggested I start a blog when I was leaving work to return to school full-time. The idea she planted grew into one of the most important gifts of my entire college experience. Here I am, every version of me over the last 5 years. At any time I can come back and visit the parts of myself that still live on these pages. I could not be more grateful for that. This blog is my time capsule.