Let me start by saying math is the absolute worst. It is a form of torture so awful I would not wish it on anyone. And my math teachers lied, I have never used algebra “in the real world”.
As I was writing all of that I totally heard my husband’s voice in my head negating all of it.
No it’s not, math is the best. You’re just whining, try harder. I use algebra all the time.
For context, my husband is an engineer who loves math. Loves it, the weirdo.
So much so in fact that he reads math text books for fun and stays late at work to teach himself math and watches free Harvard math videos online before bed.
Last night I was not feeling good (I have a cold) so I took some Nyquil and decided not to read my books (right now I am rereading Couplehood by Paul Reiser because it is hilarious, the third and final book in my Thickety series, and one of the Humans of New York compilations because it restores my faith in humanity after social working all day).
So I was laying in bed awake but resting when my husband crawled in. I didn’t feel like reading but the Nyquil hadn’t kicked in yet so I told him I would watch whatever video he was getting ready to start. It was a three part lecture series on probability.
Needless to say I now know the different between traditional probability definitions, empirical probability definitions, and subjective probability definitions. It also helped me fall asleep because the second he introduced letters into the numbers I mentally checked out and fell asleep.
I had something close to a break through with a client today. This is a client I am working with for the second time. They were in our program lat year and returned recently after AWOLing from another program. I was sad to discover this client had regressed considerably since the last time I worked with them. Then after observing the client in ways I had not had the opportunity to previously I started to wonder are they regressing or did I never know the full story?
I worked with this client for only a few days last stay, this time I have had them for weeks so I am definitely uncovering more.
Session started on an intense note today. I had to assertively set boundaries with the client on multiple planes before we even started session then the topic was not an easy one to navigate which led to a lot of gentle confrontation with the client. Ultimately by the end of session we had turned a major corner and I was able to build the beginning of a bridge with this client on an issue they have been struggling with and taking next to no accountability for up to this point. It was a little glimmer of what is possible with motivation and empowerment.
I am grateful that my supervisor trusts me with complicated cases. I am grateful that I have been challenged and made uncomfortable so often during this internship that it has given me the opportunity to step into my own place of empowerment. I am also thankful that I have been working with a population who are mandated to receive counseling services based on how our program is funded. This is not the ideal situation for clinicians, typically you want clients who want to do the work, when client’s are mandated they are not always willing participants. This internship has presented so many awesome obstacles for me to work through and overcome.
It may have been an uphill journey but you better believe my social work muscles are strong as hell thanks to the path I chose to walk!