During all the truth speaking that was taking place last week something was said that I had multiple reactions to. One of my relatives made a reference to my truth that I has shared and referred to it as rose petals and pixie dust. I believe this reference was intended to add impact to their truth, not take away or diminish my own.
If there was a second hashtag that could have been added to the events of last week it would have #rosepetalsandpixiedust. That definitely became a thing after he made the reference.
Here is my truth about rose petals and pixie dust:
Truth 1: That is me. I am absolutely rose petals and pixie dust. When I caught wind of that statement my first thought was to laugh and say, Yep he has me pegged. Rose petals and pixie dust is not a reference I mind people linking to me.
Truth 2: The reference he made, whether intended or not, did attempt to minimize my message based on his tone. He took my truth and essentially called it frilly and nonsensical as a way to underscore his own message. His message came from a very masculine energy place, mine came from a very feminine energy place, both of our messages were valid and worth the same weight. Masculinity is not > femininity. In short, I am sorry to say but in my opinion his message had seriously sexist undertones. Truth speaking is not about being right or wrong, it is not about making judgement.
Although there are pieces of me that completely identified with the reference and other pieces of me that think the reference is funny, there are also pieces of me that wish that my relative would have just spoken his own truth without needing to use my truth as a boost.
I do not have hard feelings about this but there was a realization that took place here and it needed a voice. I am a magical woman, rose petals and pixie dust are part of my magic. My magic (love, creativity, authenticity) is what makes me special, it is not a flaw or weakness and it certainly does not make me any less worthy of taking up space in this world. That is my truth.
If my family had a a hashtag right now, it would be #truthspeaking. The best part is I did that. Me. The girl with a thousand secrets, the girl with the constant shadow. I brought truth speaking home.
After the ordeal that took place in my family early last week I spoke my truth via email to my relative and then emailed the rest of my extended family to offer love and support as well as encourage each of them to speak their own truth in this moment. The title of the initial email sent was The Truth, it felt very ominous. This relative shared their truth and although I think they believe it to be objective truth I know that is not how truth works. So I took this as an invitation to share my own truth which I did. Now what I did not share with most of my family is that the truth I chose to share was just one piece. I have many truths about what is taking place in my family right now, I chose to share the truth that I thought would do the most good and bring the most healing which is what I believe is needed right now.
As a result of my emails some of my family members did choose to speak their truths as well. Their truths did not look like my truth and that is okay, their truths belong to them and mine belong to me.
After all was said and done the situation is no closer to being resolved but maybe it is on a path towards healing. You can heal without resolution, that is another one of my truths. Truth speaking breaks down barriers that keep us from healing. Once those walls come down it often becomes less about “fixing the problem” and more about healing the hurt.
So as I family I think the focus now is supporting one another as we apply ointment to the emotional wounds that were inflicted from this fire. I am sending each person in my family light and love as they take care of themselves during this time. I hope that as a family we are able to move forward in our collective and individual truths and feel connection and love as a result.
Sometimes it takes hearing someone else’s truth that is not our own to wake us up to what our truth is. I think my relative did that for my family last week. By speaking his truth he allowed each person the opportunity to wake up to their own truth in that moment and speak it.