And Then I Knew

son

I was leaving the art store parking lot today when a mother and her young boy were exiting the store. I waited and waved them along to cross in front of me, she waved back and ushered her son along. I watched them as they crossed in front of my car, he was young maybe preschool age. They both carried little baskets with their goods from the store tucked inside. It looked like maybe the makings for an Easter basket or a related project. As I watched them walk by I teared up. Suddenly I knew, I can do that. I can raise a boy.

When I was a little girl I dreamed of being a mother one day. In this day dream I was always the mother of a girl. I wanted a daughter so badly. Then I grew up and things happened. Things that shouldn’t have happened. Over and over my life taught me how scary it is to be a girl in this world. With this my mind changed. I no longer wanted a daughter. My truth for a long time was that this world is not meant for women and I did not want to have daughters who were born to suffer knowing that I could do nothing but stand by while it happened.

My truth began to change again over time. My truth changed from This world is not meant for girls to Creation is female therefore this world was made by women. This world is absolutely meant for girls. With that truth I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was meant to be the mother of strong, unruly, fantastic females.

With this new truth that I feel so deeply I have often wondered and worried, but what if I have sons? Let me be clear, no matter what I have I welcome that soul with open arms. My concern for my possible future son(s) is the expectations society will place on him about what it means to be a man.

How do I teach that sweet soul about the power and goodness that resides in leading with feminine energy when our society will demand the opposite of him?

When I saw that mother with her little boy today something clicked. Suddenly things made sense again. I will show my son the love and healing energy of feminine energy through art and reading and nature and my love for those around me including him. Creation is female, it is feminine. Creating art, planting a garden, nurturing love in relationships. He will see it everyday in the actions of his mother and father.

I do not worry for my future children because I will be there mother and my husband will be their father and they will find balance and stability and goodness in our love.

I am grateful everyday for the messages I receive. They always seem to come at the right time. Of course they do.

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