This Isn’t Meant for Me

Quick update: I went to the interview Friday and realized rather quickly that this position wasn’t meant for me. Someone will do very well and be happy in the position I am sure, but there is no way that person could be me.

There were a few red flags throughout and by the time I left my inner voice was practically screaming at me that this is not meant for me. I won’t go  into specifics, this is a very reputable agency/company, my feelings are not a reflection on the company.

My big turn off (although there were more than just this one) is that I know in order to by accept the position I would have had to abandon pieces of myself to be what they want. I cannot do that anymore. I am not willing to be just one version of myself any longer.

So I reached out to my mentor to thank her again for thinking of me and to let her know of my decision. Monday I will email my contact at the agency and let them know of my decision.

After I got home I had a moment of anxiety. I have turned down three positions now because I have made this commitment to listen to my inner voice and not take a position that I know is not meant for me. What if I don’t find what is meant for me? Am I being an idiot? These are guaranteed jobs and I am going to need a job in a few months.

I put my belongings down and walked over to my deck of self-care cards ( I will explain more about the cards in another post) and pulled one from the middle. Peace. The back talked about letting go and leaning into the confusion. Things will be clear when they are meant to be.

That was all I needed. I felt so much more resolute in a decision that I already knew was the right one for me.

So I let go of my anxiety and went about the rest of my day in peace.

That is where things stand for the moment. More positions will come and one of them will be the one I have been waiting for.

As an aside and completely unrelated to this post, I have the cutest dog in the whole world.

ducy

That is all.

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