Since high school I have disliked “holidays” like New Years Eve and Valentine’s Day. This post is not meant to shit all over those who celebrate them and do enjoy them, I just don’t.
I think the reason I single out these two days is because they both carry that same feeling and weight of pressure.
Valentine’s day carries a pressure of romantic gesture that feels forced and in turn unnatural. I am fortunate that my hubs is sweet to me all year long and is considerate and makes our relationship feel special on regular old Wednesdays evenings at 5:43pm. No special day is needed.
Here is the thing about that, to offer a balance to my opinion on this.. I have a girlfriend who has two young children and never used to celebrate Valentine’s Day for the same reason, and a few years ago we were talking about it and she told me that after having their first child she and her husband did start to celebrate Valentine’s day. She told me days like Valentine’s day and their anniversary suddenly became a bit more important because you can get busy with life and kids and work and not put the relationship first the way that you do when all of those things are not a factor.
I am not trying to compare relationships either, I used to almost sneer and laugh at people who celebrate this holiday though and my friend helped me realize I was being an ass. Maybe one day I will be thankful for a dedicated day where we know we are going to get a date night. I hope we never need Valentine’s day but it is nice to know it is there.
New Years Eve is different. This is a straight up issue of energy for me. Since I have been with my husband this holiday had been a nonissue because he is like me and does not want to do anything. My idea of “celebrating the new year” is to have days of quiet reflection, intention setting, and gratitude and then watch a movie and cuddle the night of. I do not like the crowds, I do not like parties, I do not like the noise.. It is all just too much. I get exhausted just thinking about how I have spent New Years in the past. I was always doing it someone else’s way, it was never for me and it never felt good. There was always pressure to party and I usually just wanted to go home.
The last 3 or 4 years we have been in IL for New Years and have spent it playing cards with his family, which has been great. This year since we stayed home we planned to do the exact same thing until our plans changed given the state of my family currently. We talked for a little bit about alternative plans and ultimately decided to spend new years with a couple we are friends with and have a low key evening at their home. It feels like the perfect fit.
It will be four people and a dog, and all those present are people I really enjoy. Hubs and I are making a charcuterie plate and bringing good dark chocolate to share. Our friends are getting champagne (yay bubbles). The weather has been nice the last few days and promises to continue this way.. I think it will be a lovely evening and I am excited to bring in the New Year this way.