I was reflecting quite a bit after internship today. I had a special moment at internship today and it made me reflect on the words of all of my mentors.
I thought of my former intern supervisor and words of encouragement she had given me in the past about my natural gifts in a certain area, I allowed her words to validate me in the moment. I thought about one of my professors and how she said she used to practice self-care early on in her career. I had gratitude for my current supervisor and her level of trust in my clinical skills. Finally I thought of my formal mentor and something he always says about how sacred the work we do is. So channeling all of these people I made the decision to leave internship a little earlier than usual for self-care. All my work was done, I could have done more to get the hours but today was not the day.
As I drove home I listened to Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros on repeat, windows down, sunroof open, fresh air running through the car, sun setting over the buildings downtown, me with my thoughts. I thought over and over about how honored I was to be part of what happened today. I thought over and over again about how true my mentor’s words are, this is sacred work. We get to bear witness to these significant moments in time, there is no other human word for it but sacred. I reflected back on how so many of the experiences in my life prepared me for this moment that I experienced today. I thought about other times in my life, not just in my short time in this field, but in my life where I have had the great honor of bearing witness to these kinds of significant moments.
Moments like the one I experienced today remind me of what is important. They bring me back to my center, the bring me back to gratitude, and life perspective, and remind me how fragile the human spirit really is. In moments like this so many other aspects of daily life seem to be so insignificant.
Today I am grateful to have learned (and to continue to learn) under some of the most amazing humans I have ever known. I am grateful for every person who saw my greatness and helped me wake up to it. I am grateful for every tragedy I have ever experienced. I am grateful for tenderness, and humanity, and the honor I have to bear witness to others.
Today I have gratitude for the darkness we are sitting in as a nation. As scary as it is it brought me the message I needed to turn up my light and since I have been sitting in that intention I have felt a shift.
Sometimes on the best days and on the worst I feel like I have to pinch myself, this is really happening. I am here, I am doing this thing that I thought I could not. I am walking in a light I thought I did not deserve.
It was a really special day. I am so full with gratitude and light.