Oh This is So Awkward

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I have been going back and forth about writing this post. I am sincerely concerned about offending friends and followers by being honest about something that makes me uncomfortable. I wrestled with this a bit and decided to go forward for two reasons:

  1. Trying to talk to Todd about it would prove to be a waste of time.
  2. I *think* others might be able to relate with the topic.

On that note please know I am about to make this really awkward. I am going to ramble on trying to buy time before I actually get into it, I am going  to dance around the issue and not be fully honest with how much it weirds me out, I am also not going to know how to finish the post.. I might even get lost in the middle somewhere and start talking about something else completely. Enjoy.

Okay, so I have made the decision to write this post.. but how.. Hmm.. I think my hesitance, for starters, is that I don’t know all my readers. I am going to speak my truth here, I am worried I will be talking about one of my readers without realizing it. I already know I am talking about some of my friends and at least one family member by touching this topic, that is awkward enough. I rarely share anything that I would be uncomfortable being confronted on in my real life, this is different though. This is not a conversation I would particularly want to have in real life, however I would if I had to. Also, I do not want to offend/hurt anyone’s feelings with my truth.

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I guess I first want to say, I am sharing just one perspective on this topic, I know it does not speak to everyone’s experience. AND I love my own friends who this may currently relate to on some level, and my friends who may do this in the future.

Without further ado.. Here we go..

When I was 18 I worked at a restaurant as a hostess. One day a female customer stopped me on the way out and started telling me how pretty I was and how she would love to give me a free makeover.. I know, weird and sketchy. I did not exactly pick up on that at the time though. She explained that she is a Mary Kay consultant, you know where this is going I am sure, and that if I was interested she would do a free makeover for me and a few friends. I was going to be in a friend’s wedding the next month so I asked the bride if she would be interested in doing this with her bridesmaids, we were all young and naive. A week later we went to this lady’s house and had our makeovers, I know super sketchy again. When the make over was done suddenly there was this pressure to purchase. I bought an eye cream I never used, my friends bought lip glosses. The lady took each one of us aside in a separate room one by one to “discuss making a purchase”/corner us and pressure us into buying something. It was awful and awkward and thus began my experience with this kind of awkward social interaction.

I have been to candle parties, jewelry parties, make up parties/make overs like the one outlined above, sex toy parties.. The list goes on.

I have been with my mom when her friends were hosting, I have gone with friends when their friends were hosting, I have dragged friends along with me when my friends were hosting.. It has always felt like you can’t say no. Someone you know, a friend or family member becomes a consultant and suddenly you become their customer? That is weird right?

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So I guess this started as Tupperware parties back in the day and has now morphed into what it is today. I appreciate that it is a way for people to make money on the side or even as a full-time gig, what I don’t like and get super squirmy about is the part where it puts this weird pressure on one of my relationships. I think it would be one thing if I reached out to the friend selling whatever it is and said, hey I am interested in purchasing something.. When a friend or loved one comes to you and asks though.. or really wants you to come to this “party” they are hosting because they get X, Y, and Z incentive for a certain number of attendants.. I am getting awkward just thinking about it. Suddenly this person’s success or failure depends on me? I love you but this is no fun for me at all.

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Yeah so this was really awkward for me, hope it was for you too. And the next time your aunt or someone you haven’t talked to since high school asks you to come to their basket party or whatever you can think of me and this post and know you are not the only one who is super uncomfortable.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Oh This is So Awkward

  1. Oh I HATE when people put me in that spot. I get very stubborn about it too. Basically, I refuse to help anyone out with their businesses. I get really angry if they expect me to buy something just because we are friends. Awkward indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, this whole situation just goes to a weird place. It feels like an issue with relationship boundaries or something. I have friends who own their own businesses, like actual shop front businesses, and while yes I celebrated their grand opening with them ultimately they were not relying on me to be their word of mouth or their regular customer. That is what I wish this kind of thing could be. I want to celebrate my loved ones life choices, whatever they may be, but I don’t want to feel responsible for their success. Thinking more about it I really do think it is a boundary issue for me and that is why it feels so uncomfortable.

      Liked by 1 person

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