I stumbled upon this a few weeks back and was a little surprised by the entry for INFPs. Heroic? Doesn’t seem to fit. Not too long ago, sometime over the summer, I wrote about how my Dad called me brave. I didn’t know what to do with that because I just do not see myself that way at all. I am afraid of the dark, and some shadows, and sudden unexpected anythings. Pretty much anything can be scary to me given the right set of circumstance. Brave? Heroic? No. Not me.
I sat with the whole brave thing for a few weeks after that exchange with my Dad, trying it on for size, seeing if it fits. You know what, it does. In my own way I can be very brave. It is quiet though, it is under the radar so it doesn’t feel like BRAVE the way most of us think of it. It is though and I am and I know this now.
I have been doing the same thing with this. Casually heroic.. I have been trying it on or size, trying to see if it fits. It does. I think using casually as a qualifier is what makes it fit. Like if Dad had said you are brave in a quiet, under stated way I would have accepted that a lot quicker. I do not see myself as capital B brave, but lower case brave, Yeah. Same with this. I am not capital H heroic but lower case h, casually heroic, Yeah I guess so.
Bravery for me is speaking my truth when I know I will not be validated in it. It is making a decision I know is right for me even if no one else will understand. It is being constantly focused on growth opportunities and not allowing fear and anxiety to hold me back. These are brave acts, especially when acted out by a girl who is afraid of many things.
Heroism for me is taking care of myself. It is body slamming a dog who is attacking my dog, the hell with the consequences. It is giving my boss the Heimlich when he is choking on a french fry, I kind of saved his life. Here is the thing about all these heroic acts, I did not want to do any of them. I wanted someone else to take care of me, I was afraid of that dog, I did not know how to help my boss who was choking. In each of these moments of crisis I did it because I had to, because there was no one else. Casually heroic to me means showing up in the critical moment and doing what you know you have to do to help.
Recently I have presented with all these new ways to look at myself. I am not a coward, I am brave, I am heroic. I am not broken, I am healing. This all part of letting go of messages that no longer serve me and inviting in new realities.