Yesterday before meeting my girlfriend for coffee I ran a few errands around town. I was driving with the windows down listening to one of my Pandora stations that plays music by primarily female artists and a Lisa Loeb song came on that I love. For the record, I am still a pretty big Lisa Loeb fan. She had me at Stay when I was like 9 and I have never looked back. It also helped that she made wearing glasses okay when wearing glasses did not seem that cool. So yeah, me and Lisa go way back.
The song that came on was This. I get inspired and feel full of joy every time I hear it. It is one of those songs you belt the lyrics to whether you are musically inclined or not. As I drove around scream singing my jam I started thinking about the lyrics and now here we are.
Here are some of the lyrics that speak to me most..
In an open room that echos well, this is where I can tell you everything.
This is where I meet my muse, and it feeds me.
This is why I burn this candle, I light it so that I can handle this.
I’m so still
I’m so safe,
I am not.
I have been singing it to myself all day as I work around the house and I have given more thought to what she is saying. I can’t say what it meant to her as she wrote it but for me it speaks to letting down your guard and what needs to happen in order for you to feel safe to be vulnerable or honest. That may mean honest or vulnerable with another person or vulnerable and honest in something you are creating.
I have talked before about how painting and artistic expression in general is something that makes me feel vulnerable and that I cannot do it with just anyone. For a long time I could not paint in front of anyone, now a few people have changed that for me. Writing is the same way. I may put all of this out there to be read by whomever may stumble upon it but as far as the environment I need when conducting the actual act of writing, different story.
For example, I keep a notebook with me so I can scribble down inspiration and ideas while I am out in the world. Once I caught Todd looking over my shoulder as I jotted something down and I suddenly felt naked in public. It’s funny because this blog is not off limits to him at all but the thought of someone seeing a raw idea or inspiration right out of my brain before I have put it through my refinement process.. made me feel vulnerable in a way I did not like. And of all the people in my life, he would be the one that I would trust to see me in a raw form. It says something.
So here is my version/interpretation of Lisa Loeb’s This.
In a quiet room with natural light this is where I can type out every thing in my soul.
In nature and in human connection and color and texture and in every beautiful, tragic human emotion is where I meet my muse, and she feeds me.
This is why I count my gratitude, I count so I can handle life.
I am so still,
I feel safe,
I may appear finite,
I am not.
Thanks for being my muse today Lisa!