When I was 14 I was in a car accident on the first day of high school that resulted in me being absent from school for a month while my body healed. It was traumatic and at the time I could not process it so I found ways to bypass the feelings. One way was by watching The Wizard of Oz every single day sometimes two and three times a day. It is what I remember most of that month. I was not laying on the couch with a broken face, I was in Oz.
Although this may not have been the best way to deal with the physical and emotional trauma associated with the accident it is what worked for me at the time and you have to admit that if a person wants to escape their life Oz is great choice.
This movie has always been special to me because it helped me survive a very difficult part of my life and I admit I still return to it sometimes when I feel overwhelmed.
We spent Saturday evening with my family playing cards once we returned from West Palm. When we arrived my Mom had four blank canvas for me that she purchased and decided not to use. I was over the moon. I have not painted all summer because I have been busy. All of my assignments are turned in, my break between semesters has started, and I have time to paint. Her timing with this gift was perfect.
Sunday I spent the entire day on a research paper so Todd held down the house. He did chores, made dinner, did the grocery shopping (an errand we always do together because we both hate it). I was grateful. I told him I was going to paint him something beautiful with my time off to thank him. Yesterday I laid out my drop cloth, got my floor pillow, got all my supplies set up, and set up my canvas. I had an idea for what I wanted to paint for him but I couldn’t visualize it, kind of like when I have inspiration to write but I don’t quite have all the words yet.. I paint something in my head for a while before I touch the canvas just like how sometimes I write a post in my head long before I get it down on “paper”.
I sat for a while trying to visualize the piece and finally decided to start painting and let the piece make itself. First I gravitated towards a whitish blue for the background, then I made a reddish orange and started painting little blobs on the canvas. I paused to see what I was making and then it hit me, poppies. I intended to paint something for Todd yesterday but I guess I needed to paint something for me first. It was the poppy field, I was painting the way to Oz.
There is less bypassing going on in my life since I have been in therapy but that does not mean that Oz is any less important to me. It is a reminder of something, I understand why my subconscious brought it to me.