Facing What Scares Me

I mentioned a while back that this semester the school of social work will be taking a field trip of sorts to Tallahassee to advocate for social issues. I have been looking forward to this sense learning about it when I entered into the program. March is Social Work month so that is when this event takes place and as the days grow nearer I feel my anxiety starting to grow.

I am excited about being there and the rally we will have as a school. I am excited about experiencing this with so many of my classmates. My anxiety stems from a fear I have of meeting in person with some of the legislatures or their aids to discuss one on one the issues I am passionate about. We do not have to schedule meetings, we can sit on committees or just walk around the capitol and observe the goings on. All of that is more my speed honesty. When put in new, unfamiliar surroundings I usually prefer to hang back and silently observe before engaging, I need an adjustment period. I need to get a feel for what is happening around me. The idea of getting up there and this all being new and exciting and me possibly feeling completely overstimulated and then walking into a meeting and trying to articulate a cohesive thought. I don’t know..

I would not even consider it if there were not causes I am personally passionate about, but there are. I would like to discuss HB511 and HB583. One concerns palliative care which is right in my wheel house. Some of my main areas of interest are end-of-life issues, terminal illness, palliative care and my big one, physician assisted suicide. The other bill has to do with prohibiting equal access to public facilities. It is offensive and completely discriminatory.

I am meeting with one of my professors this week to discuss my concerns about scheduling a meeting with representatives. This professor likes to push me, I know she sees a potential I have not realized so I do my best to follow her lead. She has already encouraged me to do this so I am hoping she can talk me through the process so I have a better idea of what to expect and will warm up to the idea.

I am not going to be disappointed in myself if I choose not to schedule any meetings and instead spend this first time in an observing role. I don’t want to force what does not feel right to me. I would like to challenge myself though. I think it would feel very rewarding to step outside of my comfort zone and put myself out there in a way I normally wouldn’t. I have still have a few weeks to decide ad I plan to use the time thoughtfully.

 

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