First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then…



You guessed it, our family is expanding! Not by one, oh no that would be too easy, we’re adding two! When I say “family” and “we” I am not exactly talking about the “family” and “we” that consists of just Todd and I however, I am actually referring to my immediate family outside Todd and myself. More specifically, my brother and sister in-law. And when I say the family is expanding I mean as of tomorrow! Crazy right?! One day you don’t have twins and the next day you do. It is all happening kind of fast because these twins were not expected but here they are and tomorrow they are coming home. Now that I started this post in the most confusing manner possible, allow me to explain what exactly is going on.

In a recent entry, Half Agony, Half Hope, I referenced news I received that caused the wind to be knocked out of me. I can share now that it was in reference to this situation. At the time we, my family, did not have all the information and did not know what was going to happen so I did not want to share too much but now that things are a bit more figured out I feel better about sharing.

A family member who does not keep in contact with the rest of the extended family apparently had twin girls at the beginning of December. My extended family was not only unaware of this, no one was even aware she had been pregnant, let alone with twins. This was the initial news that left me breathless. This family member has been ill for sometime and it was determined by the state (DCF or whichever agency makes these kinds of determinations) that she will be unable to care for the newborns. This was the piece of news that broke my heart. I could not imagine carrying two babies for close to 9 months and then immediately after their birth being told they would be taken away. With this determination the state agency in charge of placing the babies with care givers started looking for family to see if anyone would be able to take the babies. If they had been unable to locate family then the babies would be placed in foster care. Fast forward a bit, my brother and sister-in-law agreed to take the babies and as of tomorrow they will be coming home.

My family member, the mother of the twins, was overjoyed when she heard it would be my brother caring for her babies which made me feel much better about the situation. My heart was and still is so broken for her but I am glad that she is comfortable with how the situation is being handled for now. I am also thankful that my brother and sister-in-law have met with her multiple times and spoken by phone with her as well in an effort to establish how she would have the babies cared for and they plan to do their best to respect her requests. I am so thankful. I am so thankful someone is watching out for her and listening to her wishes and taking her into consideration in all of this. She is still their mother, she is just ill. I feared she would feel like her babies were being stolen away and that she would have no say in how they were being raised but that is not turning out to be the case.  It is still a foster care type set up for the time being except the babies are with family instead of being placed by the state. As it stands the future, long term and short term, is unclear. But for now I can gratefully say that I am feeling much more hope than agony about it all.

It is going to be day by day for a while I think. Right now I am looking forward to meeting the girls, Cassandra and Emma, tomorrow and we will see where things go from there. Regardless of if the girls stay with my brother’s family long term, which they are agreeable to, or if they are placed back with their mother at some point, the family is still expanding by two and that is exciting.

Today I planned to just be packing for Chicago, we leave Tuesday, and straightening up the house a bit. When I got the news the girls would be here tomorrow I took a break to shop.

Personally, I have never been a fan of traditional baby girl clothes and accessories in terms of “girls have to wear pink and purple and boys wear blue etc”.. I think it’s ridiculous, I happen to love a baby girl in navy blue. When I shop for babies and children I try to find things that go against gender stereotypes in terms of clothing and I always get books. For the girls I found coordinating, not matching mind you, I figure these two are going to be stuck wearing matching outfits for years to come so I didn’t want to go there. So, like I was saying, I found them coordinating sleepers. I also got them a board book about trains and a Pride and Prejudice board book, it’s never too early to get started on Jane Austen. I also found them some sparkly red flats that I could not resist for two reasons. One because they were fabulous and two because I just got Maddie a pair for Christmas along with The Wizard of Oz book so now she and the girls will match and I know Maddie will love that.

So it is exciting times. To be clear again, Todd and I are not expecting but yes, the family is expanding by two. I am looking forward to meeting and loving on these little girls and then off to Chicago we go. Busy and exciting times.


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