Tomorrow will be one month before our wedding and the true count down begins! I started getting really excited back in September when my girlfriends and I went on our beach weekend. Everyday I wake up is one day closer to our big day and I feel like a child again counting down until Christmas. And like a child I have no earthly idea how I will get any sleep the night before due to the amount of excited energy that will be buzzing through my veins, I am already finding it difficult at times. At the peak of my anxiety years ago when I was starting to get a handle on it I took to falling asleep to sleep sounds, of late I have gone back to that strategy to help calm my mind and body for bed. All the excitement that is building up inside me feels similar to the anxiety a used to feel in a couple of ways. It feels electric, I have butterflies in my stomach and my mind and heart are constantly racing with exited thoughts and anticipation. It has been a bit of a battle to calm down and turn my brain off at bed time. Ocean sounds are helping. The soothing sound of waves crashing gives me something other than my anticipatory thoughts to focus on.
I am really not nervous or anxious at all. Just about everything is done and the few things left to do are small and don’t worry me. We have our check list and I know everything will get crossed off. I find my thoughts flooded with how much I am looking forward to the rehearsal dinner with all of our best friends and immediate family. That is very little I love more in life than being able to spend time with all of my favorite people at the same time and that is exactly what the rehearsal dinner will be. I have been looking forward to it since we first became engaged. That night is going to be super fun as well. After the dinner all of our friends will come to our house for one last party before the big day, however some what low-key as I actually have to look nice the next day.After everyone leaves that night my three best friends will be spending the night for our last sleep over before I am married and then the next morning a limo will pick us up and whisk us away to the venue where we will get ready.
I think Friday is when everything is going to start feeling real! Like “Oh shit this is actually happening now”. Any of our Illinois friends that have not already arrived will be flying in Friday and I think once that last person gets here it will really start to sink in.
I am starting to feel nervous about one detail I have to admit, my make up. I have bought water proof this and that and I am just hoping it does its job, I don’t want my face to melt down the front of my dress. I have every confidence in my ability to do my own make up and it look exactly how I want for my wedding day which is why I chose not to hire a make up artist but now I am kind of wishing I had a professionals brain to pick just to know if there are any tricks to keeping everything in place if I turn into a puddle which I fully expect to do. One of my girlfriends and I are going to do some online searches and maybe visit a make up counter in a mall to see if there are any tricks of the trade that can help alleviate this concern of mine.
So, another bit of excitement aside from our wedding being so close is that my sweet old man friend turns 30 this Friday! Todd made the mistake of saying he is not a boy years ago when I called him my boyfriend so he has been my old man friend ever since. I told him now that he turning 30 he will really be living up to his title. We are going to dinner at one of the nicer restaurants downtown and then some sort of activity after, we have decided to leave that open until Friday and then depending on what he is in the mood for he can decide. I mentioned before that it was no surprise to me when he wanted to keep his birthday low-key this year.. I felt the same way about turning 30, I was really looking forward to it but I wanted it to be special and intimate, I chance to reflect on the last decade with just a few favorite people. Todd finds himself feeling the same. I am looking forward to it, I will be in an NASW seminar all day so a nice dinner and whatever comes after sounds like a good way to end a busy day.