Look both ways before crossing into adulthood

This weekend was a good one. Friday Todd and I did some Christmas shopping, met my Mom and our niece for lunch followed by time at the park. Later we went out to dinner and then to movie night in the park. I think the movie has to be my favorite part of my birthday weekend. It was so fun sitting out under the stars in a grassy area surrounded by trees watching an old black and white. For a moment it was easy to forget how close to the city we were. We had a picnic basket full of wine and fruit and a blanket to sit on, it is absolutely one of the best dates I have ever had.

Saturday I wrapped Christmas gifts during the day, one of my favorite parts of the season. I love getting creative with the wrapping and embellishments on the packages, it is like an art project to me. That night I went to dinner with two of my best girlfriends. Quiet alone time for girl talk and to process being 30, it was perfect. One of my girlfriends turned 30 a few years ago and has two children now, the other is in her late 20’s and just had her first child. We were talking about how weird it feels to be this age and be “settling down” in life. It seems like just a few years ago we were going out every weekend and spending all our money on concerts and road trips. The birthday card one of my girlfriends gave me talked about looking at the world through grown up eyes now and the unfamiliar feelings of being an adult.. All I could think while reading it was The Hallmark writers are really getting good. It’s true, this all feels a bit unfamiliar.

When I woke up on my actual birthday I laid quiet in bed for a little while thinking about the last ten years and the next ten. What I have concluded is I am really glad I had the chance to enjoy myself and be irresponsible for a while. I am always talking about the importance of our life decisions because we don’t get time back. “We don’t get to be this age again, We don’t get a do-over at the end of our life, There is no restart button”. I am constantly reminding myself of that. For me turning 30 has less to do with “Where am I now?” and more to do with “What got me here?” I have the rest of my life to be married, have children, work.. etc. I am really glad that I had fun when I was young and single and no one was depending on me. I feel like that is what my twenties were for. Todd and I have the rest of our lives together, I am glad I gave some of my life to my girlfriends and to adventures and trying new things. When I am old I will look back at those years with fond memories.

Looking forward I am so excited about the direction my life has taken. In my twenties my biggest anxiety was the unknown about the rest of my life. I had nothing figured out, that is what I was working on then. Now I have certainty about my life, myself, and the future. I am still in transition, I always will be, that is what life is, a constant transition. I am excited about getting married, starting and finishing my degree as well as starting work, becoming a mother, celebrating my friend’s milestones with them… This is what the next ten years holds for me. I can’t see it all clearly yet but I know what I am moving towards and I am excited. I have a feeling this will be the best time of my life and I want to embrace all of it fully.

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