Don’t Enter the Eye of Hurricane Nye!

Bill Nye YouTube Video about Evolution vs. Creation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHbYJfwFgOU

Todd Akin’s accusation that the above video and Bill Nye are the cause of hurricane Isaac:  http://dailycurrant.com/2012/08/29/todd-akin-blames-bill-nye-hurricane/

Bill Nye’s response to Todd Akin: http://dailycurrant.com/2012/08/30/bill-nye-blasts-todd-akin-challenges-debate/

Who knew the Science Guy had it in him?!

Capote’s Great Novel

I am finished with my first week of class and I am still excited, good sign. 😉 I am surprised to find economics as interesting as I do. This teacher has put such an emphasis on the social aspect of it that it keeps me intrigued. It is really nice that the themes in my classes are running parallel to each other as well. Inductive reasoning in math also explains how social scientists make generalizations about patterns in society. Whether it be economists, political scientists or sociologists. It is helping drive home the points I am learning in these classes because for four hours out of a day it repetition really. Moreover, I am just happy that for once math makes sense to me. That is such a good feeling.

Today I took a longer break than usual after class before I started my reading. I decided to watch a movie and relax a bit. My morning started off rocky, I apparently forgot to set the alarm last night and woke up at the exact time I need to leave the house to be at class on  time. Booger. 😦 Todd wasn’t thrilled about my oversight either as he had a meeting at work this morning. Oops. :/ Luckily I got to school on time with no issues.
When I got home I decided to watch Capote. I have read In Cold Blood and have always meant to get around to seeing this movie. To my surprise Harper Lee’s character is in the movie quite a bit. I loved that. To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book. It is something my Dad and I share together, he is my Atticus Finch. I could never look up to anyone as much as him and you see that in Scout’s relationship with Atticus in the book as well as the movie.  For those that are not as familiar with the story, Harper Lee wrote the book around what her childhood was like and Dill’s character is actually Truman Capote. As a child he lived with his aunt next door to Harper Lee and they became lifelong friends.
What I found interesting about the movie was what Truman Capote went through to write and complete this novel. I was aware when I read the book that he interviewed Perry Smith quite a bit as well as Richard Hicock, I did not realize it took him years to write this book however.
The question I was left with after watching the movie is, Did he never write another novel because he felt that he could never do better than this or was it because of how affected he was by this story.. by Perry?

The reason this thought came to me is because part of what has always held me back from doing Social Work, which is what I truly feel I was made to do, is the fear that I will be too affected by it. My heart will ache too much, I wont be able to separate the two different parts of my life or worse.. I wont be able to give enough, do enough. At the end of the movie Truman Capote’s character is saying final goodbyes to Perry and Dick right before their executions and he says, “I did everything I could.” And you get that sick feeling in your stomach knowing that our best isn’t always good enough. Sometimes you just cant change things, you cant fix things, something bad is happening and no matter what you do you cannot control it. I guess it’s like Harper Lee said, “Real Courage is knowing your licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” Fear of Failure should never be a reason for not trying.

Plato is an Asshole.

I cannot say that I personally agree with this statement. This was the last thing my bully of a Federal Government instructor said before ending class on Monday. How do I know he is a bully? Because he personalizes everything and when he is backed into a corner or feels out smarted he turns to shocking statements or language to distract from the fact that he has been disarmed. I am not particularly worried about his antics as I plan to fly under the radar in this class. I will choose my words wisely when participating in class and try not to lean too much to one side or the other in my required writing assignments. This guy is clearly an old hippie extremist that will use any forum to be heard or truly to hear himself speak. (Big fan of his own voice). I am sure I will have some interesting stories to share, especially since there is one student who has willing put a target on her back with this teacher. I digress for now.

I am happy to report that, with the exception of Federal Government, all of my classes seem alright. I was worried about Economics as I had a very difficult time with it in high school. (Mainly due to my monotone teacher. It’s a boring enough subject, trying learning it from a guy that has ZERO inflection is his voice when he speaks!) My Economics teacher is enthusiastic and seems to have a genuine concern for his students. I appreciate that in a teacher. He takes an interest. Also, he said the magic words first day of class, this course studies PEOPLE and GROUPS and their behaviors in trade and commerce. This is NOT A BUSINESS COURSE, this is NOT A MATH COURSE. The second he said people I was hooked, and relieved! He made it very clear this class falls under Social Science, not Business or Math. Fabulous, I’m in! 🙂 He provides a surplus of tools to help us succeed (Thank you sir for that) and seems to be a fair guy. I have already started some of the online homework and reading, going to finish the chapter as soon as I am done here.

Sociology should be an interesting one. The teacher seems to really want to connect with the students. I think some of her methods may be a bit corny but I understand that she is playing to the 18 year olds who are fresh out of high school. Either way, she is interesting and it looks like she is going to do everything in her power to make the class interesting as well. I am looking forward to a semester with her the most. Bonus, she offers 40 points extra credit if you volunteer in the community. That was great news as that is my plan anyway.

Astronomy I think will be a little more difficult but I still think it will be interesting. So far everything makes sense. On first impression the teacher strikes me as dry however very knowledgeable. I am also excited about his extra credit opportunities, one of them is to go to a show at the planetarium. I have always wanted to do that anyway. Todd and I agreed we would go this Friday. I am really looking forward to it!

The fact that Math ended up on a different day from the rest of my classes is a happy accident. As much as I was dreading having to wake up early for one class (and Math at that) is how thankful I am now that it resulted that way. It was so nice to be there early before the crowd. I really like my teacher’s personality. Sweet lady with cute sense of humor. I am still a bit nervous about the group work though. We broke into groups today to work on two problems, the girls I am grouped with are nice but the one is clearly not as rusty as myself. This can be a plus in some ways, we got done quickly for example, but I need to really understand what is being asked of me and have to lay everything out to understand it. She is able to work things out in her head quite quickly and spout an answer, that is not going to help me learn the material. As it was the first day I went along with how she did the work and copied everything down so Todd can help walk me through the work tonight but on Thursday I am going to have to slow her down. This is too much of our grade for me not to be grasping it because I didn’t speak up.  I am not too worried about it, I think we will be a good group. I was happy to learn that we actually have some writing assignments in this class as well. Grade Saver! 🙂

All in all first day(s) went well. I am so thankful that I am getting this chance to try again at school. I don’t know how I will ever be able to express how grateful I am to my family and Todd for their encouragement and support. They helped get me here, now I have to see it through.

Constant Wanderer

Monday I start anew again. My thrill for starting new things has always made me worry that I will never find contentment in anything. I read a quote by St. Augustine last week though that warned against becoming too content for then you are no longer growing.  I have grown a good deal since I first started college and am excited to return on my own terms.

A small piece of me started to believe I would not ever make this decision. A year ago I was at dinner with Todd and he mentioned the importance of finishing and even then I was not ready to entertain the conversation.

I have known for a while that Social Work is my calling but I was afraid. I still am honestly. I think that is what motivates me the most though, my fear of failure, my fear of not being good enough, not being able to give enough. I have dealt with these anxieties my whole life and doing this, attaining this goal I want so badly.. I don’t know that it will vanquish these feelings all together but at least they will no longer be holding me back. I will never be able to make any kind of difference if I am afraid to try, and that is completely unacceptable.

I have always kept journals so putting thoughts on paper is familiar to me. Sharing these thoughts feels very foreign, however. I like the idea of allowing my friends and family to be in my head while I am on this journey. I think it will help keep me accountable. And as I am sure I will have moments of doubt along the way I will also welcome the support.